मेरा आजीवन कारावास / माझी जन्मठेप (स्वातंत्र्यवीर सावरकर - काले पानी का ऐतिहासिक संस्मरण)

Cornered thus on all sides, life for me and for other political prisoners in that jail would sometimes become a burden too hard to bear. In order to save them and myself from suicide, we had hatched up a secret plot among the most trusted and confidential friends of our group. We had included in that dark conspiracy some of the ordinary prisoners as well. Whenever we found that there was no hope whatever for this, that, or the other of the political convicts in that jail, when the last thread of hope had perished, then these convicts together were to..... So a day passed, a long, lingering day! The bell tolled announcing the coming of evening. A day of pining had gone by! Relief, rest, sleep, forgetfulness, and the approach of release nearer by a day. But release meant death as well. A day that passed was one day less from the sentence, sure enough. But it was one day less also from the lease of life. That also kept on haunting the mind. One of such days. The hour was evening; the bell had rung; and I had made ready to return to my cell. I locked the oil-depot and had handed over the keys to the jamadar. Though on ticket, every evening I had to return to my solitary confinement in the appointed room. I gave the keys and was winding my way to the room for the night. A warder came up to me and slipped a chit into my palms. He smiled full of joy and hinted that it was good news. And he went away. I opened the note and I read that an order had come from Indian Government in the head office of the Commissioner that day that Savarkar brothers were to be sent back to India. The Government of Bombay had asked for their recall! Such news had been brought to me several times before, and had ended there. And I had remained in the prison all the while. Hence I had never put any faith in these reports. My friends knew it and, therefore, had added that they had seen the order with their own eyes, and there was no humbug about it. The news may be true, for aught I thought to the contrary. For where prisoners had got their tickets after three years, I had got it after ten, and my ticket brought me no freedom, but permit to rot in the jail for all time to come. I realised that this farce could not continue for long and the shamelessness must end. There were only two alternative to this dirty conduct. Either I must be free in the Andamans; or as the report went, must be sent back to India. The authorities would prefer any day to take me back to India and put me in jail there. They would not have me on them as a free man in the Andamans. What I did not get for the asking, I was to get now from them without asking for it. For this concession would enable them to detain me in the prison in India after ten years in the Andamans. And that, in the name of mercy again, as an act of kindness towards me! For my transportation to India would be hailed by all who did not know the other side of the matter. They would regard it as an act of grace.