मेरा आजीवन कारावास / माझी जन्मठेप (स्वातंत्र्यवीर सावरकर - काले पानी का ऐतिहासिक संस्मरण)

When I learnt the news I felt definitely that my elder brother was passing away without being helped, that he was slipping from our hands. Well, all of us were sojour- ners here and all had to leave the place sometime. Life was no better than a halt in a caravansari for a day or two. But my brother was dying inch by inch, having suffered and toiled and wasted himself for others, and there was none beside him at the last hour to put an affectionate dropful of water in his mouth. It was the jail that had admitted him, and it was the jail that was swallowing him up. Alas! methought, it was the enemy that, at long last had done him to death! He did not kill him with one stroke, but by a process of slow torture. These had finished him. I could not contain myself. I could hardly breathe, so overwhelming was the feeling of it all. At that bitter moment, as was the habit with me, I sat up and composed myself. I maintained a quiet frame of mind, and recollected myself. And then I put to myself the question, "Where was the use of all this fretting and storm? My brother dies of hardships imposed upon him by our enemies. He is a victim to the enemies of our country! What help was there now but lamentation over individual loss? Can I avenge myself for it? Nothing but wailing and enquiry! I had made up my mind as soon as I was free to avenge myself on those who had victimised my brother, and then I would celebrate his death anniversary. That would be an example to others to do likewise. I felt calm in my mind after I had taken this solemn vow. The perturbation was gone and I was my former self again. But Baba was released . A few days after this incident, news came that my brother had been let off from the prison. I was full of joy at the news. He got his discharge but had to be brought home in a senseless condition. But that was of no account, methought; the Government had at last saved the expenses over his funeral, by setting him free. And the members shall have at least the consolation of paying for it when he dies in the midst of them. Because that was also a matter of doubt. Hence his release was better than his death in that jail, any way. It was not release only. It was a rebirth for him from death-in-life in the prison. By the grace of God and as good fortune for the country that lover of his country began gradually to improve in health, and a wave of joy passed over the whole country. That very year, I believe—though I do not remember correctly at the moment— the Congress session at Coconada adopted a resolution demanding my release. The resolution was moved from the chair and was passed nem con. It was a moral gain for all the efforts of my younger brother and for similar agitation of patriots in full sympathy