मुल्ला नसरुद्दीन के किस्से व हास्य-रहस्य

CHAPTER 1. Mulla Nasrudin, whose barn burned down, was told by the insurance company that his policy provided that the company build a new barn, rather than paying him the cash value of it. The Mulla was incensed by this. "If that's the way you fellows operate," he said, "THEN CANCEL THE INSURANCE I HAVE ON MY WIFE'S LIFE." 189. Mulla Nasrudin had spent eighteen months on deserted island, the lone survivor when his yacht sank. He had managed so well, he thought less and less of his business and his many investments. But he was nonetheless delighted to see a ship anchor off shore and launch a small boat that headed toward the island. When the boat crew reached the shore the officer in charge came forward with a bundle of current newspapers and magazines. "The captain," explained the officer, "thought you would want to look over these papers to see what has been happening in the world, before you decide that you want to be rescued." "It's very thoughtful of him," replied Nasrudin. "BUT I THINK I NEED AN ACCOUNTANT MOST OF ALL. I HAVEN'T FILED AN INCOME TAX RETURN FOR TWO YEARS, AND WHAT WITH THE PENALTIES AND ALL, I AM NOT SURE I CAN NOW AFFORD TO RETURN." 190. The weekly poker group was in the midst of an exceptionally exciting hand when one of the group fell dead of a heart attack. He was laid on a couch in the room, and one of the three remaining members asked, "What shall we do now?" "I SUGGEST," said Mulla Nasrudin, the most new member of the group, "THAT OUT OF RESPECT FOR OUR DEAR DEPARTED FRIEND, WE FINISH THIS HAND STANDING UP." 191. "With all of the evidence to the contrary," the district attorney said to the defendant, "do you still maintain Nasrudin, that your wife died of a broken heart?" "I CERTAINLY DO," said Mulla Nasrudin. "IF SHE HAD NOT BROKEN MY HEART, I WOULDN'T HAVE SHOT HER." 192. Mulla Nasrudin and his partner closed the business early one Friday afternoon and went off together for a long weekend in the country. Seated playing canasta under the shade of trees, the partner looked up with a start and said. "Good Lord, Mulla, we forgot to lock the safe." 202 (Jokes of Mulla Nasrudin) 49 Osho

CHAPTER 1. "SO WHAT," replied Nasrudin. "THERE'S NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. WE ARE BOTH HERE." 193. Mulla Nasrudin was tired, weary, bored. He called for his limousine, got in and said to the chauffeur: "JAMES, DRIVE FULL SPEED OVER THE CLIFF. I HAVE DECIDED TO COMMIT SUICIDE." 194. Mulla Nasrudin was stopped one day by a collector of charity and urged to "give till it hurts." Nasrudin shook his head and said, "WHY THE VERY IDEA HURTS." 195. The young doctor stood gravely at the bedside, looking down at the sick Mulla Nasrudin, and said to him: "I am sorry to tell you, but you have scarlet fever. This is an extremely contagious disease." Mulla Nasrudin turned to his wife and said, "My dear, if any of my creditors call, tell them I AM AT LAST IN A POSITION TO GIVE THEM SOMETHING." 196. Mulla Nasrudin was scheduled to die in a gas chamber. On the morning of the day of his execution he was asked by the warden if there was anything special he would like for breakfast. "YES," said Nasrudin, "MUSHROOMS. I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN AFRAID TO EAT THEM FOR FEAR OF BEING POISONED." 197. The new politician was chatting with old Mulla Nasrudin, who asked him how he was doing. "Not so good," said the new man. "Every place I go, I get insulted." "THAT'S FUNNY," said the Mulla. "I HAVE BEEN IN POLITICS FOR MORE THAN SIXTY YEARS MYSELF AND I HAVE HAD MY PROPAGANDA LITERATURE PITCHED OUT THE DOOR, BEEN THROWN OUT MYSELF, KICKED DOWN STAIRS; AND WAS EVEN PUNCHED IN THE NOSE ONCE BUT, I WAS NEVER INSULTED." 198. The old man was ninety years old and his son, Mulla Nasrudin, who himself was now seventy years old, was trying to get him placed in a nursing home. The place was crowded and Nasrudin was having difficulty. "Please," he said to the doctor. "You must take him in. He is getting feeble minded. Why, all day long he sits in the bathtub, playing with a rubber Donald Duck!" 202 (Jokes of Mulla Nasrudin) 50 Osho

CHAPTER 1. "Well," said the psychiatrist, "he may be a bit senile but he is not doing any harm, is he?" "BUT," said Mulla Nasrudin in tears, "IT'S MY DONALD DUCK." 199. It was the day of the hanging, and as Mulla Nasrudin was led to the foot of the steps of the scaffold. he suddenly stopped and refused to walk another step. "Let's go," the guard said impatiently. "What's the matter?" "SOMEHOW," said Nasrudin, "THOSE STEPS LOOK MIGHTY RICKETY – THEY JUST DON'T LOOK SAFE ENOUGH TO WALK UP." 200. In earlier days in America it was not unusual for politicians to take advantage of a public hanging to address the crowd of spectators. When Mulla Nasrudin, the condemned, was told a politician was going to speak on the grim occasion. "HAVE ME FIRST, PLEASE," screamed Mulla Nasrudin. But it was not possible. So Mulla Nasrudin thanked the speaker for making it easier to die". 201. Mulla Nasrudin was tired, weary, bored. He called for his limousine, got in and said to the chauffeur: "JAMES. DRIVE FULL SPEED OVER THE CLIFF. I HAVE DECIDED TO COMMIT SUICIDE." 202. 202 (Jokes of Mulla Nasrudin) 51 Osho